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Friday 28 October 2011

How to grow follicles...

Dear readers (and some friends)
I haven't posted for 2 weeks because I had nothing to report. I was waiting. Waiting to menstruate so I can schedule the first Day 3 U/S which will determine if we can go ahead with IVF this cycle.

Here is some background for those that are less familiar.  The purpose of the U/S is to count the number of Antral follicles (potential follicles that all compete to host and produce a viable mature egg). If there is a sufficient number of follicles (I am unsure about what that number is...some say 10, some say less, some say more...)  then the RE decides to go ahead with stims for the cycle. They will then stimulate the follicles with the help of intra-muscular injected hormones to all produce eggs that they will all collect for fertilization. This means that they effectively turn one into an egg-producing factory!

That will be the next step...for now, anxious and excited as I am at the moment, I have decided to manage by one-day-at-a-time management. So, I am at the growing follicles stage....I am only focused on having enough follicles for the GO-AHEAD. Now, being the planner that I am, maybe because of my educational background  and my work in Project Management, here is my question to all: does anyone know how to grow follicles??

I need to get busy this weekend, and grow, grow, grow some follicles...

Ok, here's the little I know: I know some lifestyle changes will have to be made, and with them, some hard sacrifices.  This next section is dedicated to saying my goodbyes:

1) To my dear coffee: I bid you Au-revoir. Let's make something clear: it is not an adieu. We will have to part ways for now, but, don't worry, as soon as I can bring you back into my life...I will. You have been a dear ally during many of my struggles to make it through life. We have a long-standing relationship and this separation is hard. But, I have been told it is necessary, for now. I promise, we shall see each other again soon. I will taste your sweet-bitterness as soon as possible.

2) To my naughty ally alcohol: You are my guilty pleasure. And therefore we have shared good and bad times. We have had what some may call, a love-hate relationship. I have relied on your ability to confuse me, distract me, and make me laugh many a times. I have also regretted it many times. We will part ways for an undefined amount of time...maybe forever...maybe not...I haven't decided if I want to live without you...You are like a forbidden love that while destructive at times, can also be the source of passion only you can provide...Adieu...for now!

3) To my balance & sanity: I hope you will stick around. But you are elusive and aloof and usually don't stay around very long. I long for you in an enduring way...you are like the one that got away....A word of warning for your my dear: the hormone fest that I am about to go through may make it near impossible to keep you around. But if you shall not be with me during this time, know this: It is temporary. I will not give up. I will long and wait for you patiently.

4) To my social life: I hope you do not abandon or forget me during this time. Although I may have to take some distance from time to time, and decline on the parties, get-togethers, and other engagements,only to accomodate the increased demands of the treatment. I want to repeat: it TEMPORARY. If things get tough...Please remember I love you dearly. You have always had a special place in my life. I shall be back to form soon so we may continue enjoying carefree fun :)

Ok, so, goodbyes out of the way, now I feel prepared, this is it!

Crossing my fingers for a successful follicle growing weekend!

Cheers to all :))  

Friday 14 October 2011

No looking back....

Well, it has certainly been a while since my last post. This one will be brief, I don't feel very poetic lately, so it will be point-form...

Here's the update: 
1) AF showed up on CD34 boasting that it now has the record of the all-time longest cycle EVER
2) I felt like a total fool for having so much hope last cycle (I sadly should know better than that by now!)
3) Instead of crying on the toilet, went on an 8 day holiday/business trip where I drank my heart's desire only to drown my sorrows...
4) upon return from the trip, we saw our RE. It is official: 12 months of TTC and no baby! There is no doubt that we are "reproductively challenged." We are moving ahead with IVF next cycle.
5) Once again...the waiting game...waiting to menstruate (just 2 more weeks!) so we can finally start the treatment.
6) I must admit that I am a bit anxious about putting my body through such a treatment, the drugs, the injections, the hormones scare me...but I am more motivated and calm than I have ever been (even though I am usually deathly scared of needles).
7) No more BBT charting, temperature taking, OPK's and hocus-pocus recipes of vitamins and other alternative remedies! :) I am putting myself in the hands of science and the magic of the lab... :) fingers crossed.
8) it will be my 38th birthday during our first IVF cycle...I feel like it is a good omen. :)
9) If I were religious I would say prayers...but...in my case, I will just breathe deeply and wish for everything to go well.
10) DP and I have decided: 3 tries @ IVF max, if it doesn't work (it will work, I know it will work!) we move on to adoption.
11) Part of me still can't believe that we are here. IVF in front of us as the only option. BUT here we are. THIS is IT.
12) No looking back. Only forward.


Until next time :)