As it has been a while since my last post, I thought I would post a little update. I am at work, sitting at my desk, and pretending that I am reading some important email....instead, I am blogging...good way to start this snowy Monday morning!
We had our first U/S last Monday Dec. 12. I will not post the U/S pictures here, as weirdly enough, I feel that the images are too private, but strangely I am comfortable describing them, and giving all sorts of other details about my infertility...the blogging world is strange some times...each of us tries to find that balance between privacy and reaching out for support.
I had been really nervous before the U/S. I had done research on google (that guilty pleasure and also my worst enemy!) and read for hours all about what I could expect at 6.5 weeks. Some people reported seeing and hearing the heart beat, other people did not.
The Dr. ushered us into the U/S room, and announced to me that it would be intra-vaginal (I am honestly looking forward to the abdomen U/S from now on...I am a bit tired of U/S wands being stuck up my...beep...!!!)
So, once I was uncomfortably on the stirrups, the Dr. said: "OK, let's see if we've got a baby in here!"
Which quickly put me on guard. I was quiet like a mouse, waiting for him to say what he saw, because truthfully I cannot understand any of those black and white images. I was deathly scared that his silence would send me straight to panic-ville.....But...a few seconds later he announced that he could see the pregnancy sac, the yolk sac, and....an embryo with a strong heartbeat!
DP and I held hands and held back the tears when the Dr. asked us if we wanted to hear the heartbeat. He turned on the sound and we heard it...a flutter that beat fast, really fast.
It was the sweetest thing...
Finally, it was real, we have ONE little miraculous little bean with a heart beating strong in there!!! :) :) We both felt overwhelmed by relief and sincere happiness. I think we even gasped audibly.
He measured the little bean at 6 weeks and 1 day and reassured us that he/she is growing well, and is exactly where he should be, making a nice little home in there.
I know I should be cautious, as the first 12 weeks are delicate. DP and I have not announced it to anyone other than our very very close family: our parents and a couple of immediate friends. However, it is getting harder and harder to contain the excitement, and to keep from sharing the joy we are feeling. We have decided that we will not announce it until after our next U/S which is just after the holidays (9.5 weeks) and we can have a better picture of this beautiful little miracle baby!
However, it will definitely be the sweetest Christmas, secretly knowing and praying for our sticky bean!
As a music lover, very dedicated U2 lover, here is the link to one of my favourite songs that plays in my head ever since:
Happy Holidays to all :)