I had the second U/S (CD 8) this morning. The news were not as exciting as earlier in the week. I am not as thrilled as I was on day 3, let me tell you.
Doctor measured 3 follicles of average size... approx. 8mm... Although I am in no way qualified to interpret this information I can't help but feel a bit defeated, and worried, and at the verge of panic, although I am trying my hardest to keep myself together here. I guess I started this process with so much hope, I am deathly scared to be disappointed.
My understanding of this is quite limited still, as I am still learning, and the doctors do not stop to explain everything to the patient. I asked her some tentative questions trying to see if the reaction is hopeful or if she looks away from me...she didn't look away (must be a good sign) and she gave me hope. No mention of cancelling anything. She said that sometimes it takes a bit of time for them to kick-start. She simply thought keeping the stims up over the weekend and check again on them on Monday. She says we continue ahead.
While it is exciting to be involved in every detail of my stimulated menstrual cycle, I am also realizing how difficult it is! Prior to starting IVF stims, and U/S every 3 days, I had a much bigger picture of what was going on in my body (if any at all) and the only thing I tracked was whether I ovulated and whether I got a BFP at the end of the cycle. NOW I have a whole set of new markers: follicle count, follicle growth, ovarian response to stims, cysts, endometrium lining thickness, sperm count, sperm quality, egg quality, fertilization reports, embryo quality reports, and of course the dreaded pregnancy test results!!! Too many markers to obsess, worry and cry about.
Oh how I loathe people that never know or worry about any of this...and How I envy them (and not in a good way)!
Although this bit of news came a bit unexpected to me, (as I had unrealistically pictured all 13 of the ones counted on Monday to show up for the second U/S)....maybe it was the wake up call I needed to alert me that I am in no way "out of the woods", and that I must manage my expectations. I have a feeling that this is the beginning of another bumpy ride...I have to find a way to hold on...
I shall keep wishing for follies to grow through the weekend...what else is possible?
Good Luck with your follies.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry your follies aren't doing as well as you'd hoped. It's all so overwhelming, isn't it? I'm really hoping they grow over the weekend - maybe they're like the rest of us and do better on the weekends rather than the weekdays. Good luck, I'm thinking about you!
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